Dart Disciple Gifts

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's on of those things you always see an alpha male do: stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls.

Moses on the web

Sweep the board.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Business Target

God's Phone

"And you've had this headache since you left the pub last night?"

"I have an app for that."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

The origin of storms. (Gods playing 'darts' in a pub with lighting bolts and globe).

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

Way too much anthropomorphising

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

Professional Forecasting Inc.

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

'We've lost the ability to fly Dad: To fly! How is that evolution?'

'I don't think much of this topless darts bob'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

You Have 1 New Messages

'Wow! The earache I've had for three weeks is gone!'

Gracebook.

"Don't worry. We've never hit a target since we've been in office."

"OMG! 12 followers already...this thing could go viral."