Dirt Disciple Gifts

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Moses on the web

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"I know it is of this earth...."

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

God's Phone

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"I have an app for that."

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

Spiritual Lives Matter

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom - I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Way too much anthropomorphising

How Gary got his groove back.

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'