Dinosaur Disciple Gifts

'I use the newest tools in modern medicine. This cow bone is only one day old.'

Jurassic Parking Lot

Moses on the web

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"The invention of taxidermy."

'Hey, you! -- What happened to the pet dinosaurs we left here?'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

God's Phone

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

"I have an app for that."

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"I think we overordered."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

Spiritual Lives Matter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'Does it come on Disc?'

If Ghosts Were Real

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."