Dark Themes Gifts

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Poetry reading nightly

'Why are you all of a sudden painting a huge knife dripping with blood?'

Racing to Hell

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Edgar Allen Poe

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Out To Lurch

Dead Funny

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Fist Bumper Cars

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

The practical psychopath

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

Zombies.

"Housekeeping?!"

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.