Dark Tales Fan Gifts

Staff picks

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Rapunzel's gone punk."

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

Bathroom Fairy

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

'The roof needs icing.'

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, what is up with my hair?!"

Bedtime story.

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

'My name is Mrs. Horner. My son Jackie stuck his thumb into a hot pie and burned it.'

The little engine that delegated

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."