Dark Fairy Tale Fan Gifts

'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled...'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

The Fourth Little Pig

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Swan Fairy Tales

Edgar Allen Poe

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

The Mouse Princess

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Rapunzel in the Morning

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"What the hell took so long?"

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Pastries and Candy