Dark Tales Enthusiast Gifts

Misery lit...

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Don Quixote

Falstaff

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled...'

William Wallace.

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

"I know I'm evil, but will I ever be diabolical?"

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

Polly Rescues the Charitable Grinder

Poet-in-residence: 'Mr. Poe is out. He'll get back to you 'nevermore'.'

Robin Hood.

I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his

"Isn't it amazing! My horoscope said I was going to meet a tall dark stranger..."

Staff picks

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

"The adventures of Robin Hood are becoming a lot less adventurous."

'For the last time, I don't need a sunroof! Think about it dude!'

Sacrifices at 4:00PM and 6:00PM

The Windmill Gets Attacked (Don Quixote).

If he had a nightmare, let him crawl in bed with us. Ok. But we don't have children.

"It's a selfie!"

Rudy, stop thinking about it. About what? About how if the Dark Ages had never happened, we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now. Instead of poking acks on your me-phone, you'd have a chip implanted up your whatsits that'd let you do anything you could imagine. My phone says without the Dark Ages, we'd have had no Renaissance - so you science-haters are responsible for my me-phone. Stalemate.

Horror Stories by the Base campfire.

'I still don't believe any of that bunk your friend was giving us about hypnosis.'

"Ok, ok, my mistake—twice upon a time..."

"Oh, you big silly. Did you forget to put the clock back?"

Alice in Wonderland - The Gryphon.

"Alice finds that the looking glass is made of lexan, and she can't get through it."