Dark Arts Aficionado Gifts

Watercolour challenge for teenagers.

'Just ignore your father - he's been dabbling in the occult again....'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Needs to get a life"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'It was great. I hated it.'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'