Dairy Industry Professional Gifts

The Big Cheese

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Freshest ice cream in town!

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

Important Food Groups

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Cow's straw

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"They’re real."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'I'm sorry, your cheese has not matured enough!'

Pull the udder one

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'