Food Industry Professionals Gifts

"Not only our fishcakes. Granny Cora herself was recalled. She's not really a granny."

Important Food Groups

Another day in the Splenda mines

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Ghostbasters 3

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

"I'll have what he's having."

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

Loyd Grossman

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

"Your chicken was free-range, organically raised, and named Denise."

"I'm regretting that I offered him free lunch instead of an increased salary!"

Red Square. He's an important man, the caviar chief for the whole country. I still think he could have laughed when I call him the "Sturgeon General." I (heart) Moscow.

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

The Blending Of Comestibles And Foam Rubber At The Submolecular Level!

"What a slobster."