Food Service Industry Professional Gifts

"I'll have what he's having."

"Rump roast?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Another day in the Splenda mines

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Ghostbasters 3

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"A little lamb please."

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.