Dairy Industry Aficionado Gifts

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Lactose Intolerant

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Important Food Groups

'Oh Hi!'

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"They’re real."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

Cheese Pile

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

A consumer guide to cheese.