Dairy Product Aficionado Gifts

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Lactose Intolerant

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Cheeze Wiz.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'Oh Hi!'

Important Food Groups

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

Milking the Cow.

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'Bless You.'

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Cheese Pile

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

Moo-Magrams Exams

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

'How now, brown cow?'