Dairy Product Aficionado Gifts

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Lactose Intolerant

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Important Food Groups

'Oh Hi!'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"Wait, what are you doing?"

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Cheese Pile

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

A consumer guide to cheese.