Dairy Farming Humorist Gifts

"Don't worry, everything is the same, only I fart rainbows."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

A Tongue Stud.

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

They're Brazillian!

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

Grassy breath?