Daily Grind Humorist Pillows

King Kong goes nine-to-five.

Commutobile

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

"What next?" "Don't tell me."

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

'My therapist defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

A usual day.

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

'Kate was running late for work and to make matters worse she put a ladder in her stockings'

"Don't get caught."

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

"It looks like they're getting tougher, honey."

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

The Twelve Labors of Hercules of Elmhurst

Commuter reads book entitled: Commuters for Dummies.

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

Evolution explained.

'It's not a bad place to work - if you can stand the routine.'

'I'm bored.'

'Come home, Fred. It's Sunday.'

Commuter X-Ray

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

Please continue to hold, but feel free to switch hands.

"Pawn to King Four."

"That wasn't very funny!"

"If you really want to stay on here, Wiles, you're going to have to give more effort."

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.