Daily Grind Humorist Gifts

King Kong goes nine-to-five.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Commutobile

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

"What next?" "Don't tell me."

'My therapist defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.'

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

A usual day.

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

'Kate was running late for work and to make matters worse she put a ladder in her stockings'

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

"Don't get caught."

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

"It looks like they're getting tougher, honey."

The Twelve Labors of Hercules of Elmhurst

Commuter reads book entitled: Commuters for Dummies.

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

'I'm bored.'

'It's not a bad place to work - if you can stand the routine.'

Evolution explained.

'Come home, Fred. It's Sunday.'

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

Commuter X-Ray

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

"I don't think you need to worry about being late! After all, it's you who drives the train!"

"That wasn't very funny!"

"Now where did I park my car?"

"Pawn to King Four."