Cynic Appreciator Gifts

"He brought joy to tens."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

"Maybe I'm jaded, but it seems like nothing's worth smelling anymore."

Vote Zbufski! He could be worse.

'I had the necklace you gave me appraised. And wouldn't you know it... fool's gold!'

'Do you think it's too early for Christmas shopping?'

"Can you see it, Bob? Green grass, warm breeze, flip flops. . . spring is coming!"

Me vs everybody else

"And I suppose you believe everything you read?"

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

The Forever Stamp

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Cow Kong

Big business is not evil

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

The Government That Cried Wolf

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

"If the press brings up your past just double down on 'The sky is falling!'."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Dirty Tricks Dept.

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

Bush vs. America

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'This model comes with F.S.H - P.S. - E.W. - C.C. - A.B.S and B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

'Huh! Nobody home!'

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

*2020

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Why, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'