Cybersecurity Cynic Pillows

The EU Is To Blame For Everything

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

How to create a password you can remember...

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

IT security.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

307 days without an accident.

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

Woman rushing her computer to the doctor.

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

Unsocial Networking.

"Choose wisely. Your choice will be the answers to security questions for the rest of your life."

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

"Our foreign policy boils down to: an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, a hack for a hack."

Don't worry, Bob. There are some jobs a robot just can't do...like kissing ass.

'Don't open that attachment!'

'The only way I had to get your attention was to send you that computer virus.'

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

E-mail

'All this 'elf and safety is taking the edge off sieges.'

Beware: Safe Area.

"Do you ever worry about identity theft?"

'I got a tool to remove malicious malware...'