Tech Cynic Pillows

'I'll tell you, Ed, this new technology is starting to realy spook me out.'

Don't worry, Bob. There are some jobs a robot just can't do...like kissing ass.

Free at last from all forms of electronic and digital interconnectedness!

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Domestic Spying Drones

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

Unsocial Networking.

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

The first accurate poll.

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

'Dad, is it true what they say about lemmings following each other off a cliff?' 'If they work at a company like mine, it is.'

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

'It's like home from home, really-rubbish telly, lousy grub..'

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

Finally, a news network that doesn't fill me up...it's 97 fact free!

'I don't revere this guy because he founded the company. He's the one who tried to talk me out of getting into this business in the first place.'

Corporate recycle: plastic/paper/empty promises.

"Am I covered for the brain cell damage caused by your TV commercials?"

'Never read it,mate-too much doom and gloom in it!'

'I told you that thing would mess up the environment!'

"Of course your data isn't really in a cloud. That's almost as silly as thinking your money is actually in this bank."