Internet Cynic Pillows

We value your privacy. . . . . yeah, right.

Colonel Gaddafi has been reported to be attempting to transfer billions of pounds worth of assets from Libya

"Of course your data isn't really in a cloud. That's almost as silly as thinking your money is actually in this bank."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Will Self deprecation

Social media and privacy

Once a politician is elected, his work is over.

Bush vs. America

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

Unsocial Networking.

Obama builds own gallows.

'That's it?'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

iPhone: Leading Our Grand March Into Mass Mediocrity

"...and, if elected, I promise never to tell another lie...oh, there I go again!"

'According to the voice-stress analyzer, he's not going to lower taxes.'

The first accurate poll.