Social Media Cynic Pillows

"I'm through with smart phones. My girlfriend broke up with me in a text, my teacher flunked me in an email, and my mom grounded me on Facebook."

'I don't know about you, but even I'm getting bored with all the cat stuff on Facebook.'

'Smoke signals, sign language, bird calls. . . enough of the social networking!!!'

What Does a Guy Have To Do to Get off Social Media?

Utter horror. Sadie has become a Youtube star. Get outta here. I shot video of her ranting about her hatred of technology and posted it on Youtube. People love it. They can't get enough. She's being treated like a celebrity. An autograph please, and can you curse my laptop? I feel so alive.

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

"Don't go. Someone you don't know is having a 'work anniversary' - whatever that is."

The anti-social network: 'So you want me to help you create an anti-social network?'

'Seriously? You don't have a Facebook hate group?'

'You're right. Your homepage is great.'

"I updated my privacy settings."

Social Media Hater

Hate Platforms

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

Elon Musk Ditches Twitter Logo

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

Facelook

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

#notblessed