Digital Media Cynics Pillows

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rare Books

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

The other digital divide.

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

Books On Paper

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

Social media and privacy

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

Brggar holding sign - 'Victim of computer age'.

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

Blogging Shoes

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

Don't worry, Bob. There are some jobs a robot just can't do...like kissing ass.

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Unsocial Media

'I don't have my homework because my dial-up modem couldn't connect with my on-line homework helper.'