Social Media Cynics Pillows

It's 3 am and "Trumple-Thin-Skin" is at it again.

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

Hate Platforms

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

#notblessed

Facelook

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

Elon Musk Ditches Twitter Logo

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

USA 2030

Trump Tells Greta to "Chill" Even Though The Earth Isn't

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."