Technology Cynic Pillows

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Pat Buchanan?'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

Mohammed bin Salman hacks Jeff Bezos' phone

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"AI chat bot"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Modern Life Blues

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Social media and censorship...

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Domestic Spying Drones

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

'I can't believe that will get as good mileage as the foot.'

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"Someone posted a picture of you working in the yard, so I knew right away it had to be a deepfake."

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.