Technology Cynic Pillows

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"AI chat bot"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Social media and censorship...

Modern Life Blues

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Domestic Spying Drones

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'I can't believe that will get as good mileage as the foot.'

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

"Someone posted a picture of you working in the yard, so I knew right away it had to be a deepfake."

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'