Cybersecurity Cynic Prints

The EU Is To Blame For Everything

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

How to create a password you can remember...

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

IT security.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

307 days without an accident.

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

Unsocial Networking.

Woman rushing her computer to the doctor.

"Choose wisely. Your choice will be the answers to security questions for the rest of your life."

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

iPhone: Leading Our Grand March Into Mass Mediocrity

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

"Our foreign policy boils down to: an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, a hack for a hack."

Pomeroy is terrified somebody will break into his files. A real case of "hackrophobia"!

Don't worry, Bob. There are some jobs a robot just can't do...like kissing ass.

'Don't open that attachment!'

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

'The only way I had to get your attention was to send you that computer virus.'

Beware: Safe Area.

E-mail

Hacks of the Very Near Future

"Do you ever worry about identity theft?"

'All this 'elf and safety is taking the edge off sieges.'

'I got a tool to remove malicious malware...'