Cyber Savior Gifts

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

Homepage, sweet homepage.

S.O.S. vaccine

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

"Mom, what's the password to access dad?"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

You wait until the polar icecaps melt my friend then we will see who is laughing!

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

Vaccine

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

"That's Bill, from tech support."

Love Hate Computer Relationship

'I think the computer has had it, Naoni.'

'Please have a seat while I review your internet history.'

"My mommy's passwords are stronger than your mommy's passwords."

'For outstanding work in computer science, I present you with this activation key to the city!'

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

'You used foul and offensive language when addressing your computer. Well....we've all done that.'

Computer viruses

"As an additional torment, our fire and brimstone are fuelled by coal."

"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."

Hold, Hold, Hold, What you imagine all the phones look like at technical support.

"Here lies...died on-line."

"I'm afraid a computer tech is going to have to be prematurely taken."

'Adjustment of your picture is necessary - call your repairman.'

Blue screen of death