Customer Service Circus Gifts

Heck Support.

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

You want tech support. This is mockery and belittlement.

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

City Bank: The bank that sticks with you through thick.

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

'They didn't fit when you got them home? Maybe your contents settled during shipping?'

"People are sick of 'automated' systems, they want to talk to real people..."

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."