Customer Service Comic Gifts

'They didn't fit when you got them home? Maybe your contents settled during shipping?'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

In and Out Trays

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

'Exhibit A: the oxygen tube that came loose the night she died. You were there that night. You wanted to play then, too.'

"My client demands a jury trial."

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'