Customer Service Appreciation Gifts

The Losers Lounge:'I like going there — they always give me VIP treatment.'

"Your waitress left an hour ago. What was it that you ordered?"

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"Could I ask just one question?"

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

Direct Marketing...

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

Higher wisdom...

'A dog ate my homework.'

'Maths is fun!'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'