Client Appreciation Gifts

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"Could I ask just one question?"

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

Higher wisdom...

'A dog ate my homework.'

'Maths is fun!'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

Presentation: Any questions?

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Child: 'If I've got five oranges, and you take away two, wouldn't that be stealing Miss?'

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Computer Mouse gets Torn Off.

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'