Customer Crusader Gifts

'If you want useless blah blah blah from an impolite, worked-up service agent, press 1. If you want useful information given by a competent and motivated service agent, please call our competitors.'

The Management Reserves the Right to Refuse Service at Whim.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Third World debt interest repayments/ charity aid

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

Not The Real Me

"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

'Of course I have unpaid loans, what other kind is there?'