Customer Care Crusader Gifts

"Listen to the customers more carefully Tracey. Mr Jones has a pain in the backside, he didn't say you were one."

'Went straight to the top a week after 'Customer Care' started.'

"Roger ALWAYS puts out customers FIRST!"

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Third World debt interest repayments/ charity aid

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

'Of course I have unpaid loans, what other kind is there?'

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

'Can you believe this bank...? Yesterday they refuse me a loan, today they send me a leaflet for a loan.'

Honey badger do care.

"Now, before we actually help them, let's discuss our partnership and method of assisting."

Your credit score is hahahahahahahah.....

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

The competition's customer vs our customer.

Customers are not buying your products. . . but solutions to their problems.

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

"Invasion of privacy? You should be flattered we're so concerned about satisfying your consumer desires!"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'