Customer Care Crusaders Gifts

'I don't think he's finished his 'customer care' training.'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Third World debt interest repayments/ charity aid

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"Now, before we actually help them, let's discuss our partnership and method of assisting."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

Customers are not buying your products. . . but solutions to their problems.

"Invasion of privacy? You should be flattered we're so concerned about satisfying your consumer desires!"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"It's been a great year except for me not getting any respect for my personal 'dressing for comfort' choice."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

Great customer care is not optional.

"For success you have to treat customers as individuals...These for example are individuals No 45-09kl and 645-3!"

"Roger ALWAYS puts out customers FIRST!"

"People are sick of 'automated' systems, they want to talk to real people..."

'Went straight to the top a week after 'Customer Care' started.'

"The management consultant recommended a 45% cut in customer services, so you'll have to complain to yourself from now on."

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."

"This is exactly why I oppose free hand-outs."

'The customer is King'

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

"Don't think of them just as customers, but rather as an infinitely mineable and marketable source of valuable data!"

"Doug here monitors any subtle changes in the ergonomics."