Consumer Crusader Gifts

"Invasion of privacy? You should be flattered we're so concerned about satisfying your consumer desires!"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'Risky, but I like it!'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

Not The Real Me

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

Mixed Nuts (but mostly peanuts)

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .