Customer Complaint Communicator Gifts

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

Complaints Desk

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"I said FETCH! Not KVETCH!"

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

Awkward customers.

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Ryanair refunds

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

Customer Service. I only handle complaints -- What you have is a beef?

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."

Complaints department.

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

'You walked through the park to get here, didn't you, Modom?'

'-and remember,Higgins-it's the fault that counts!'

Customer Services - Ten complaints or less.

'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'