Customer Service Commiserator Gifts

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

Payback Time

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Complaints Desk

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Ice Cream Flavors

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

Being home based the highlights of Colin's day was ringing his office based colleagues to check on how their commute had been that morning.

"Birthday? No? Anniversary?

"It's a new bank policy, sir - Transactions under $500 just aren't worth our while."

'Ladies and Gentlemen we regret to announce there will be a slight delay to your flight.'

Will take headphones off and stop ignoring people at...

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"We're shorthanded - open your own!"

'We're having a graduation party for Jerome. Actually, it's more like a fund raiser.'

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

Walmart vs. Target.

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."

'I think he's recognized us: I told you we should have left a tip last time...'

"People are sick of 'automated' systems, they want to talk to real people..."

Budget Air - Click here if you agree to be being treated like dirt