Marriage Commiserator Gifts

"Birthday? No? Anniversary?

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

Fishing 'Just what the Hell IS your problem lady??'

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'Your wife says you were married for 50 years and now you want to communicate?'

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'Objection over-ruled!'

'You deserve one another, but I don't deserve you!'

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

Being home based the highlights of Colin's day was ringing his office based colleagues to check on how their commute had been that morning.

'You say he's stubborn, mean, cantankerous, won't take orders, sometimes won't move? Are you talking about your mule or your husband?'

'Right! That's bloody it! I'm calling for the wife-whisperer.'

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"This is just like you, beverly. We're supposed to meet alone and you bring your attorney."

"Let's be considerate of your wife's opinion and discuss her point that you're an idiot."

'Share your innermost feelings or the remote gets it.'

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"