Christmas Commiserator Gifts

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

Ice Cream Flavors

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Poinsettia

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

On The Ninth day of Christmas.

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

'We're having a graduation party for Jerome. Actually, it's more like a fund raiser.'

"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"

Text Santa

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

'They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!'

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

Keep your answers short and in the form of a question.

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

'It couldn't handle one more office reorganization.'

"This project is crucial guys. Time may be short but you are shorter."

'He said; 'His wife doesn't understand him'.'

'Dad, cut out the middle man, Santa and get me the toys from behind the wardrobe.'

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

"Coal? What are you, Kringle, some kind of eco-terrorist?"

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

Santa Party Time

'Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol' performed by the Bjornson Players of Stockholm.;

Mum, you smell like trifle!

'I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months. It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without.'