Christmas Comrade Gifts

"Coal? What are you, Kringle, some kind of eco-terrorist?"

'The cats love getting some fresh air, and it's the warmed coat I've ever had.'

"Bad dog."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

Holiday Overkill.

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

That's what I call a well trained dog!!

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"Oh, great. The boss is in one of his enigmatic, 'Guess what I'm thinking' moods again."

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

'It's a letter from the fish. Apparently the water was too cold for them so they went to Florida for the winter. Dang, we came all this way for nothing.'

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"Say Jeeeeeez!"

"Of course I know Jim. We once built a time machine together. We go way back."

Who has two thumbs and

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

"There, that ought to hold you."

'HA! You are defenceless against my Churn Ray!'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'We're like the canine unit, only tougher. Instead of dogs we use big, bad wolves.'

Dog, dressed as vet, is about to give cat lethal injection. Cat owner says: 'Terminal? I hope you don't mind if I get a second opinion.'

"If I may say so, sire, that is ONE Magna Carta."

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

"...Perhaps he's detecting a ghostly presence. . !!"

Eventually, many dogs and dog owners begin to look alike

"I'm more of a dog person. Why?"

'Not the dog, not the dog, , ,'