Curtain Closer Gifts

"I find a good way to avoid stress is to close the curtains, climb into bed, and pull the covers over my head."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'They all want to play the star.'

Taking a peek at the audience

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Curtains haberdashery

Drama Llama

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

Waiting Room For Godot.

Bravo!

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

'Scratching these curtains will be the greatest performance of my life.'

Book and magician

"Congratulations on opening night."

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'A Nosey Cow'.

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

Found a precedent? Yes, you did same crime in 1974.

"Terrific! A hit! Broadway at its best!"

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

At Astley's

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

"And I'm telling you the curtains always looked like that."

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

"I don't need to learn about ethics. I'm going to be a lawyer."

What's your guess? "Venetian blondes."