Curtain Opener Gifts

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'They all want to play the star.'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"Quick swig first?"

Curtains haberdashery

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

Drama Llama

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

'Scratching these curtains will be the greatest performance of my life.'

"Congratulations on opening night."

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

"I find a good way to avoid stress is to close the curtains, climb into bed, and pull the covers over my head."

'A Nosey Cow'.

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

'Relax, I'm only going to open a window.'

"Terrific! A hit! Broadway at its best!"

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

At Astley's

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

'She's behaving just like an adult.'

"And I'm telling you the curtains always looked like that."

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

'I'm your agent! You're going to have to do another swansong.'

'Neighbours is on, love.'