Curtain Raiser Gifts

Please stand by...for view.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

Not you. Your hair.

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

Curtains haberdashery

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

Drama Llama

Bravo!

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'Scratching these curtains will be the greatest performance of my life.'

"I find a good way to avoid stress is to close the curtains, climb into bed, and pull the covers over my head."

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

'A Nosey Cow'.

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

"Quit pulling the damn fire alarm."

"And I'm telling you the curtains always looked like that."

What's your guess? "Venetian blondes."

'I'm sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind, but I suspect he's the one tempting me.'

'Neighbours is on, love.'

"You really like my arroz con pollo, huh?"

'Rats, just a dirt spot.'

"When Ralph Lauren talks, Wilbur listens

'The patient in the next bed is highly infectious. Thank God for these curtains.'

'At least he's making an effort to match the curtains.'