Curbside Comedians Gifts

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I hate performance review season."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Not here - home!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

'Botox.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'