Curbside Comic Gifts

The downside of curbing your dog....

'That's our mission statement.'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Vampire on a plane

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

In/Out/How did this end up on my desk?

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

Wonder Woman: "Trapped in a Man's World"

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

'Felworth, until you've completed your management training program, I'll have to ask you not to fool around with your desk.'

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"Study after study shows that more and more people are participating in studies."

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

Man at work surrounded by office desks

'From now on, anyone not found at their desk will be sacked on the spot.'

"I'm sorry, sir - We don't have anyone here who wants to talk to anyone like you."

'I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation.'

"How is this such a great place to spot migrating whales? I don't see a thing."

"...We've clubbed together to get you something as a token of our appreciation. I think the staples are included."

"Staff shortages and increased workloads means all leave has been cancelled...but as compensation we are being offered enhanced toilet breaks!"

"The menu used to be á la carte. Now it's á la food truck."

'We need to get out in front of our problems with a scapegoat.'

"Very funny, doc, but don't you think I should have some medicine?"

"I love the way you've put your outfit together."