Cultivated Conversations Gifts

"He may well be the new Pope, but I wish he'd just return my lawnmower. . ."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

So you're a mocking bird...

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"So, what do you do for play?"

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"He gets easily abstracted."