Cultural Conversations Gifts

"My authority was never questioned before it was revealed that my middle name is Hillary."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Very Difficult Conversations

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

So you're a mocking bird...

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"So, what do you do for play?"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."