Cultural Conversationist Gifts

"So … Rachel tells me you're Canadian …"

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

Pallbearers sitting around radio: 'This just in! Tributes are pouring in for the legendary tenor Pavarotti, who passed away earlier today....'

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

Subway. The economy is surging! I hope protections are in place. In a digital world, a surge can lead to a system crash.

'I see that you're a fully integrated immigrant to this country.'

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

Randy, do you think I'm stuck working here, working at this cafe? Why do you ask? Maybe I could branch out, test the waters, see if I've got the courage and capacity to try something new. Are you saying I hang out at this cafe because I've got nowhere else to go? What just happened? If I just said something aloud, it had no weight or meaning.

"I remember when you could order a cup of coffee in two or three words."

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

"Gee, I just love the British dry sense of humor!"

"All this fuss about same sex marriage, I've been having the same sex with my husband for the last 27 years."

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."

Books 'n' Coffee

"Hey, this is on me!"

“I think you’ve had enough.”

"Mother, I'm so sorry — I totally forgot to bring you."

'Too much genetic generalization trooper are they Sioux, Black Feet or Cheyenne you don't like when they call 'white eyes' or pale face do you?'

'I'd like to drop this whole believing in God thing.'

"You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies?"

'It's all about hunting and killing with you, isn't it? Why can't you just have fun in the woods?'

"This piece really makes you think doesn't it?"

"Love is easy to find. I'm looking for someone to talk Battlestar Galactica with."

'At least he's normal, well, as normal as men get.'

'When we first got married, Warren was crazy about me -- now he's just crazy.'

'He's very Territorial Army.'

'Which choo-choo train is appropriate?'