Cross-cultural Conversationalist Gifts

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

A lesson in wit

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

Bla Bla Bla

'...I said, well now that they've reached saturation point at least they're not making so many...'

'How are you keeping?'

''How my year as an exchange student totally rocked thanks to my awesome pal Timmy Lowell' by Vladimir Brezskinov, translated from Russian by Timmy Lowell.'

"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."