Cross-cultural Communicators Gifts

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"If I ever start using emojis have me moved to an assisted-living facility."

''How my year as an exchange student totally rocked thanks to my awesome pal Timmy Lowell' by Vladimir Brezskinov, translated from Russian by Timmy Lowell.'

'Do you know that tattoo reads,'I love little porcelain dolls'?' (a Chinese man explaining to a tough guy what his Chinese tattoo really means).

"Can I spend night at Cruz's house? Por favor? Tu R's bst eva paps!"

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

Fart. Le Poot.

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

'Well, yes, the fine print is in Arabic, but it's a wonderful language.'

International Sign Language For...

"You can do business anywhere... as long as you can speak their menu."

'I did it again. I said ano when I should have said año, so instead of asking how old her girl is, I asked how many assholes she has.'

War camouflage (bonsai tree).

Advanced Russian - Beginning Finnish

"How nice to be misunderstood in more than one language!"

"We adopted her in China, and we're having her raised there, too,"

"It's the night of the bilingual telemarketers!"

"I've forgotten. Is it the television or the telepone you folks call the 'telly'?"

'Dear Mr Flagg - we are always very nice hearing from you. Your delighted letter, which we receiving of you...pile it on thick. They really eat up this broken English.'

"We need to talk about your collections. To put it in your language your cash flow has developed a stoppage."

"Oh dear! I'm afraid I can't read Japanese!"

'The Asylum Seekers.'

'And here's where we hold our Japanese management seminars.'

Sienna finds Harald impervious to her tactics.

"Marco, this is Principal Hutmacher."

"Do you know how hard it is when people don't fit into my neat, pre-conceived notions?"

Translators

"Hello? Common sense hotline? I'm afraid my immigrant patients aren't getting the care they deserve because I haven't learned to speak Spanish...am I looking at this the wrong way?"