Cross-cultural Communication Gifts

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"Gee, I just love the British dry sense of humor!"

"Oop's! silly me. Here's what I should have told you to ask..."

"How nice to be misunderstood in more than one language!"

"Hey, this is America...talk English!"

"I've forgotten. Is it the television or the telepone you folks call the 'telly'?"

"It's Tio Luis...I'm pretty sure he still thinks I don't think enough Spanish around here."

''How my year as an exchange student totally rocked thanks to my awesome pal Timmy Lowell' by Vladimir Brezskinov, translated from Russian by Timmy Lowell.'

"Hello? Common sense hotline? I'm afraid my immigrant patients aren't getting the care they deserve because I haven't learned to speak Spanish...am I looking at this the wrong way?"

'I did it again. I said ano when I should have said año, so instead of asking how old her girl is, I asked how many assholes she has.'

"I never realized we'd have to speak TIBETAN to him!"

"Marco, this is Principal Hutmacher."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

EU and India partnership.

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

Slalom

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'

Chinese kids are much smarter than we are! They just score well on tests. They're grinds. We're creative! We learn to express ourselves! West Fester High School. We'd better learn to express ourselves in Chinese!

'Our company is finally doing business with China.'

'Do you know that tattoo reads,'I love little porcelain dolls'?' (a Chinese man explaining to a tough guy what his Chinese tattoo really means).

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

Fart. Le Poot.

"Oh shoot, we still need to get Hanukkah gifts for the Rosenbaums."

Chère Maman

"You can do business anywhere... as long as you can speak their menu."

War camouflage (bonsai tree).

Eskimo opera singer, "He's from Opera North"

Advanced Russian - Beginning Finnish

"Boy I'm so fed up with dancing to Indian music: Wish he would play some Rock'N Roll..."